The Increasing Chances of a 'Want'

In a previous post, I talked about an old friend and her girlfriend. And in another one of my posts, I talked about my ideal/perfect girl. I guess I should've made a point about how my friend's girlfriend closely fits the criteria stated within my ideal/perfect girl post.

For the purpose of making this understandable, I'll get into the back story for a bit. But I'll do it in a brief way.

I dated a girl back when I was 14.

We broke up after a few months and didn't talk to each other for a few years. September, 2011 comes around, and a friend of hers tells me she wanted to talk to me, so she gave me her number. I'm thinking: ok, cool.

After a few days of talking, we practically become good friends. To the sense that she becomes my girlbestfriend type of thing.

One day, she asks me what I plan to do after high school. And I tell her about the college I plan to go to. She's surprised. "OMG! My girlfriend goes there!". At the time, I was pretty much like "What the-. You have a girlfriend? You're a lesbian?".

I told her I had to go to the college for my interview, and she then brought up the idea that her girlfriend could give me a lift home. Her girlfriend agreed. I did my interview and waited for her class to finish. The ride home was about 30-40 minutes. And that consisted of talking (obviously). As we talk, I realised, this girl is practically my ideal girl. She plays games. She dances. She has a boyish style of fashion. She's boyish in general. And her personality is awesome.

Of course, I have standards and I know my limits. She is already taken. By a best friend too. She's out of play.

Two months later, shit happens between my girlbestfriend and I. To put it briefly, we're now enemies.

2012 comes around and I'm well underway in my course. And you can pretty much assume that I get to see my ex-girl-bestfriend's girlfriend (such a long acknowledgment). Yes. I still have standards now. So I know what parameters I'm held in. I catch my ex-girlbestfriend on Skype one day and I decide to talk to her. She got really pissed off. How did I know? Her friend came up to me on Skype and said "I think you should stop talking to her and anyone related to her." Of course she was referring to her girlfriend that I got to see at College. She told me I was also apparently causing shit between them.

.   .   .

I saw my ex-girlbestfriend's girlfriend today. She comes up and gives me a hug (that's how we usually greet each other), though I notice she holds on a tad longer. Something is different about her. Her eyes are reddening. They appear watery. She looked like she was gonna cry at any moment. I ask her about the situation. She insists everything was ok but that her life was in a bit of a mess. We talk while I walk her to her car and said my goodbye.

This is where I start to feel guilty. I start imagining us together and what it would be like. I further reinforce this imagination by thinking about the increasing chances of such a thing happening. The fact that she's going through a rough part in her relationship wasn't helping either. More and more, I thought about the possibilities of 'us' and it was eating me up inside.

Ah. NLP; how you ruin me.

Excuse me while I pick up all the f**ks I give.

Here's the back story:
I dated a girl back in Year 8 (14 years of age). We broke up after about four months. During September last year, she started talking to me again. A strong connection was built between us within that month and we became best friends. Her and her friend. My ex even introduced me to her girlfriend (she's bi), who I found out attended the same college I was going to.

Now most of you guys already know that I'm a hardcore gamer. Fast forward two months from then; I'm currently playing a game of LoL. I hear the Skype noises going off. It's them talking. As usual. I wasn't too bothered on joining in on the conversation. Nor was I bothered the past few days. I go through the messages to see what's going on.

"Where's Wrecked?"
"Oh probably off playing games."
[more chatter]
"He doesn't appreciate us..."

The next day, I find myself kicked out of the Skype chat. I knew they were pissed at me. I didn't care. I was glad I didn't have to commit to them anymore. Being associated with them involved too much drama. For a guy (especially one like me - someone that actually listens to a girl's problems), it's stressing.

I started my college course four weeks ago. I got to see my ex's girlfriend every week. Since my ex hated my guts, she didn't approve of me and her girlfriend being friends. After returning home from college, I log on to Skype. A few minutes later, I see my ex log on. Just for the sake of catching up, I open a chat and say "Hi." This seemed to enrage her because one of her friends whom is a close friend of mine, initiated a conversation with me straight after.

"(My name), as a third person with no personal interest in the matter... I think you should refrain from speaking to and about Anon1, Anon2 and anything related to them. I've never seen her this upset, I'm worried."

Oh, my ex is getting pissed? Excuse me while I pick up all the f**cks I give.

Apparently I was causing problems between my ex and her girlfriend. Because I have morals, I'll respect their relationship and limit my interaction with her girlfriend.

Drama... I tend to stay away from it.
Word of advice - do the same.

Lazy Fridays

For the past two weeks, I've been working (somewhat) hard on my programming assignment which was due today. It consists of two paddles and a ball. Also know as 'Pong', I managed to complete it to a self-satisfied standard.

Even though I slept at 2am, I had no trouble waking up four hours later when my phone did it's daily ear-rape. I tend to jump straight out of bed when that happens. There was a time where I would go through about five snooze alarms before actually getting out of bed. I'm past those days. Straight out of bed, I'm off to the dining table with my laptop. Make myself some cereal and browse Reddit as if it were my daily newspaper.

Rocked up to my class with my assignment ready. I was relieved that I would be done with this assignment. Lecture starts which involved learning about creating release files for our game. A few things done to my game and I'm off to browsing Reddit yet again. Then the teacher announces he'll be checking everyone's assignments. He said he was bored last night and prepared a program that randomly picked a name from the class. The name would pop up after a few seconds of flashing, bright colours for a fake loading screen. I'll admit, the fake loading screen was good. It looked like a rainbow being mixed in a blender. Luckily for me, my name gets picked right before break starts so I don't have to worry about showing my assignment after break.

My friend is celebrating his 18th tomorrow and I have yet to get him a present. My mate and I walked off to the city markets in hopes of finding something. The walk took longer than expected, and as we got there, we just decided to grab some lunch. And off to some Japanese place we were. The food was impressive. A Japanese lunch box for $12.90 - rice, chicken teriyaki, tofu, vegetables, soup and some other stuff. Didn't expect it to fill me up but it did. I didn't even get to finish it before realising break was over and we were late. However, we walked into class 20 minutes later as if nothing happened. And we didn't get told off or anything. The rest of the consisted of playing games and looking at dual-screen wallpapers. The teacher even let us off one hour earlier.

Today was one of the best days so far at College. Pretty much did nothing all day.

First day of College.

I know I did say that this second post was gonna be about my hobbies, interests and what-not. But I'm still in the process of writing it and I had my first day of College today, and I guess I wanted to write a bit about that.

Games have always been a passion of mine, and I remember saying to myself as a kid - that I would make my own game one day. Besides, my dad was a programmer for Ford, so I guess programming would run in the family. Haha. The course I'm doing is an Advanced Diploma in Games Dev - Games Programming and so far I'm enjoying. I took Software Design class back in High School and absolutely hated it. I really only enjoyed it when the teacher taught us programming. Today's lesson involved the basic "Hello World" program. Of course, when learning to code, that's usually the first program you learn to write. Started it off in C++ and had a bit of trouble understanding it all. That was my first time touching C++. Luckily for me, I was seated next to a fairly experienced programmer so I asked him for help on the two times that I need it.

The location is absolutely great. Walk 10 minutes in any direction and you'll come across a cafe to grab a coffee or some food at. There's a shopping mall nearby in case I'm ever craving fast-food or Chinese food. It's also close to Darling Harbor which is a great water-view atmosphere to hang out at with a few mates or with a date. It's only 10-15 minutes walk from the train station and I walk past a Uni on the way there. If you knew me, you'd know exactly why I referred to the Uni -- I love seeing beautiful women. Uni women = Yum. I've done a bit of pick-up back in High School so I know how to open a conversation and hold it for a few minutes. I plan to use this experience to meet some new people.

So far, the only thing I don't like about College, is the fact that there are barely any girls there. Both programming classes are packed with guys. I guess that's given though, since programming isn't really within a girl's interest. Just a few random things that I like about the college - the vending machine sells noodle. F***ing noodles! I believe that's the first time I've seen a vending machine sell something that isn't packed with sugar or salt. The lounge room/chill area is pretty bad ass too. It's a PS3 and Xbox if you're ever bored.

Currently enjoying college life so far and I look forward to the rest of my classes. I also look forward to the morning walk tomorrow (of course I'm referring to the Uni).